By Enya Goonetilleke, Summer Intern at the Weill Cornell Department of Pediatrics
As children grow, the list of things to remember seems endless: dance lessons, sports meets, allergies, and, of course, doctors’ appointments. However, a key part of growing up is your child learning to take ownership of their health and advocate for themselves. This may seem daunting, but here are five small steps to help your teen become more confident and involved in their medical care.
1. Have them decide how to remember their medication.
If your child takes a prescription medication or vitamin, rather than always reminding them yourself, encourage them to develop a system that helps them remember when to take it. Possible strategies include setting alarms and phone reminders, keeping a physical calendar, or placing medications in a weekly pill container. Every child is different, and working with your child to come up with a system empowers them to participate in their care. Additionally, let them know that it is their responsibility to notice when their medication is running low and to request a refill.
2. Have them make their own appointments and fill out paperwork.
As teens get older, they may have more activities and responsibilities, making it harder to find appointment times that work for them. Suggest that they make their own appointments, saving you a chore and ensuring the appointment works with their schedule. Encouraging them to complete pre-appointment paperwork, health questionnaires, and insurance forms with your support can also build their independence. This can prompt them to think through relevant information they may want to share with their provider, such as symptoms, concerns, or health changes.
3. Avoid speaking for them during appointments.
Doctor’s appointments can feel overwhelming for anyone, and teens are no exception. But it is important for teens to grow comfortable speaking to providers themselves. During visits, try to allow your teen to describe symptoms, medical history, and concerns. You can still support them by asking clarifying questions or helping them remember important details, but allowing them to speak helps build self-advocacy skills.
4. Support confidential time with their provider.
Once children reach the preteen or teen years, providers may ask parents to leave the room for a few minutes while they ask personal questions. While this may feel unnerving, this practice is not meant to encourage your child to keep secrets from their family. Rather, it gives your teen the opportunity to bring up medical concerns or ask questions they may not feel comfortable sharing with an audience. After the visit, avoid pressing your teen for details about what they discussed privately. Intrusive questions can make them feel uncomfortable or worry that you are upset with them. Instead, remind them that you are there to support them if they ever want to talk.
5. Help them write down visit objectives and questions.
While self-diagnosing through “Dr. Google” is not recommended, it might be helpful for them to do preliminary research on certain health concerns and write down questions they want to ask their provider. Before each visit, they can make a short list of objectives, such as symptoms to mention or school and sports forms to complete. This helps make each visit more productive and prevents important topics from being forgotten.
Helping your teen take ownership of their health does not mean stepping away completely. Rather, it means shifting from managing everything for them to guiding them as they build lifelong skills in communication, self-advocacy, and independence.